Thousands Anxiously Await Being Disappointed With New Years Plans

New YearsNew York City, New York — With New Years Eve quickly approaching, thousands have made plans that will inevitability let them down. Whether it’s freezing in the cold in Times Square for the better part of four hours, or it’s paying $120 for a ticket to a bar that will run out of alcohol, New Years Eve will provide just enough angst to make people annoyed.

“I can’t wait to spend three hours in a line to get in a bar that I paid an outrageous cover for!” said 28-year-old, Mike Remy. “Sure I could get there at five and skip the line, but where would be the fun in that? I would miss potentially getting frostbite, and drunken girls trying to ditch the line because they ‘have to pee.'”

Don’t forget all those hosting New Years Eve parties, they too are looking forward to their properties being damaged beyond repair.

“Last year our friend Jake got out or hand and starting putting holes in our wall just for kicks,” said party hoster, Amanda Stack. “He ended up puking on our carpet and causing no less than $300 in damages which he never repaid. We think this might finally be the year where someone invites a total stranger and we got robbed blind, and we can’t wait!”

Let’s not forget those venturing to New York City for the famous ball-dropping ceremony, while standing outside in extreme cold with little to no room to move.

“We’ve been standing outside for what feels like three days now,” said Ohio native, James Little. “I can’t see a thing and there are a lot of people threatening me, but boy, am I excited.”

 

 

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