Under Cover Police Protester Finds He Really Enjoys Protesting

undercover protestorOakland, Calif — This week Oakland police officer, James Hill, was tasked to an undercover assignment to infiltrate the ranks of protesters following the decision to not indict NYPD officer, Daniel Pantaleo. Hill would be going undercover, disguised as an outraged protester to see if he could stem some of the rioting. Unfortunately for the Oakland Police Department, Hill may not have been the man for the job.

“I f***ing love protesting!” said Hill from atop an overturned police cruiser. “I’m having the time of my life out here. We’re lighting stuff on fire, throwing rocks at stores, turning over cars, it’s like living out all my wildest middle school dreams without any of the consequences.”

Hill’s journey from undercover police officer to riot instigator did not take long.

“When this whole thing started, I was just trying to blend in. But right after my first ‘no justice, no peace’ chant, I just felt the fire in my belly. I wanted to burn something down and no one was going to stop me.”

Hill has said he is in a great position and says he has the best of both worlds right now. In his words, he is “living the dream.”

“Outside of the military, where can I get paid to just destroy stuff. Even if the whole thing comes crashing down on me, I can say I was just ‘doing my job.'”

Unfortunately for Hill, the Oakland Police Department knows of his transgressions and is holding it against him.

“The ironic thing is that these protests are about police negligence, and they have one of the most negligent police officers leading the charge,” said bystander, Mark Williams.

After the interview concluded, Hill could be seen running toward a car, holding a hammer, and yelling, “I am Oakland’s reckoning!”


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