New York City, New York — As America prepares for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, many Millennials are dreading the inevitable holiday conversations with family members about what they are doing with their lives.
“I’m not looking forward to it,” said 23-year-old, Stacy Knox. “I was a Women’s Studies major, you think it’s easy for me to find a job?”
Knox, like many others are having anxiety about facing relatives who had aspirations for them to be doing so much more than what they’ve accomplished.
“My grandfather was a world-renowned surgeon,” said Aaron Ferguson, a graduate of the University of Maryland. “He payed for me to go to college, with the hope that I would also become a doctor. Now I work at a Bob Evans. How am I supposed to look him in the eye and tell him that.”
Many Millennials have resorted to using technical jargon to hopefully confuse relatives enough so they stop asking questions.
“I’m going to do whatever I can to end that conversation quickly,” said Raymond Thompson, an art history major from University of Vermont. “I think if I can say that I work for a start-up, and I’m working on development through mergers and acquisitions, I should be able to avoid telling my aunt and uncle that I work for a failing Tire Discounter.”
In addition, some Millennials are facing added pressure of having a successful sibling who has seemingly figured out their life. For Stacy Knox, that sibling is Becky.
“Becky has to be the best at everything. Sorry Mom and Dad that I’m not a perfect little tax lawyer with a high paying job and a boyfriend,” said Knox while snacking on some Flavor Blasted Goldfish. “So I’m not perfect, okay? So I’m not precious Becky with her 401k and her company cell phone. God, I hate the f****** holidays.”
Sounds like me. 🙂
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Just make the rounds vociferously trying to proselytize everyone to Scientology. You’ll be sitting blissfully alone in the corner with your scotch in ten minutes.
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Hahahahahahahahahaha *deep breath* hahahahahahaha
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