Renee Zellweger’s Face Passes Away at Age 45

Renee Zellweger faceLos Angeles, California — Renee Zellweger’s face passed away this week at the tender age of 45. Zellweger’s face starred in all of Renee Zellweger’s previous movies, including Jerry Maguire, Bridget Jones’s Diary, and that other movie that Renee Zellweger starred in. Zellweger’s face was born April 25, 1969 in Katy, Texas, attached to Renee Zellweger’s body. Zellweger’s face got her first break in an uncredited role in the cult classic, Dazed and Confused, starring as “girl in the blue pickup truck.” Her debut role landed her in a lot of B list movies that no one has really heard of.

Zellweger’s face’s biggest claim to fame was when she mouthed the famous line “You had me at hello,” in the Cameron Crowe film, Jerry Maguire. Other famous lines uttered by Renee Zellweger’s face include “Hi, I’m Jenny,” “My name’s Lucy,” and “I’m Irene.”

Zellweger’s face is succeeded by Zellweger’s new face, who has left Zellweger almost unrecognizable, save for experts from TMZ. Zellweger’s old face will always be remembered for making people say, “Yeah, I kind of find her attractive, but I really can’t tell you why?” and for inspiring the age old argument, “Wasn’t she in that movie Mallrats?”

RIP Renee Zellweger’s face; 1969-2014

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