“After that blowout win, we knew we had to do something before our fans started talking about a win streak, or even dare to mention the playoffs.”
The Browns did just that, this weekend, losing to a Jacksonville team that has been described as “abysmal,” “talentless,” and “If I had the option to watch a bum fight or the Jaguars, I’d pick the former.”
“We felt the best way to bring that classic Cleveland angst back, would be to hand Jacksonville their first win of the season,” said Head coach, Mike Pettine. “The second I heard people in the media talking about Brian Hoyer being a ‘viable fantasy option,’ I knew we had to do something.”
When asked how he felt about the Brown’s fans sudden optimism, Pettine said, “I was buying an ice cream Snickers bar from a UDF last Thursday, and I heard two fans talking about how the Browns had their next two games ‘in the bag.’ I laughed all the way home.”
Pettine said the thing Cleveland has going for it, is that it doesn’t have anything going for it.
“That’s Cleveland’s thing. Seattle has the Space Needle, Los Angeles has smog, Cleveland has hopeless despair, and I’ll be damned if I’m the one that takes that away from them.”