Disney Unveils Two New Flagship Characters

Disney Unveils Two New CharactersBURBANK, CA — Disney today announced that they would be unveiling two new flagship cartoon characters to go along with Mickey and Minnie mouse.

“We love Mickey and Minnie,” said Disney spokesman, Dan Reynolds. “They are iconic Disney legends. However, we felt we needed to develop characters that might give Disney a more modern feel, you know, in order to keep up with the times.”

The first character Disney is introducing is Mikey Mouse, who will be a distant cousin of Mickey. Mikey will be of Italian descent, hailing from the Bronx.

“Mikey Mouse will sport a black Ed Hardy shirt and have slicked back ears. He’s always going to have an ambiguous obsession with Minnie, and sometimes pushes the limit of what is acceptable behavior. He is definitely for our older demographic. Mikey Mouse’s signature catch phrase is going to be, ‘Ey Mickey! Why don’t you lighten up, ya mouse!’

The other character Disney is unveiling is Micah Mouse, a Hasidic  Jew, hailing from the Lower East Side.

“We know that historically Disney hasn’t had the best reputation with the Jewish population. In fact, some have even gone so far as to call Disney ‘anti-Semitic,'” said Reynolds, clearly uncomfortable. “We felt that Micah Mouse was a way for us to bridge the gap between the old Disney and the new age of a more progressive Disney culture. Micah Mouse will be Mickey’s go to advice guy. Whether it’s about problems with Minnie, finances, or how much deli mustard to put on a pastrami sandwich, Micah will be there to help Mickey out.”

Reynolds said that Mikey and Micah Mouse will debut in the spring of 2015.

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