Intense Salesmen has No Idea How To Talk To Toddler

Toddler SalesmanCHARLESTON, SC — Last week a local real estate salesman and business investor,  Bob Noble, attended a barbecue with friends and family from out of town. Since a young age Bob has always been a salesman at heart, and lately he’s been having a hard time discerning business from friends.

“Bob is really invested in his job, so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when he started a sales pitch with our toddler,” said Jane Miles, an acquaintance of Bob’s.

Bob started talking to three-year-old, Trevor Miles, asking, “Trevor, do you like golf?” Bob then chuckled to himself, “Of course you do! Who doesn’t like golf? Well what if I told you that you could golf anytime you wanted without the time constraints that you would have with a full time job? Would that be something you would be interested in?”

“It was a little sad,” said Trevor’s dad, Ron Miles. “He just can’t separate work from actual relationships anymore.”

Bob continued with his pitch while Trevor played with bubbles, “Trevor, I like you. I can tell your a no bullshit kind of guy, so I’m going to level with you. I don’t do this for everyone, but I have a great opportunity that you’re going to love.”

Bob then whipped out his iPad mini and provided a presentation for an elaborate pyramid/profit share scheme while Trevor tried on funny hats that he found in his toy box.

After his hard sell Bob then said, “All we need from you Trevor,” while making intense eye contact, “is a $300 start up fee. You have a college fund don’t you big guy? Well let me ask you this? Why go to college and learn from a bunch of washed up professors, when you can start making money today?”

At that point Jane Miles came over, picked up her son and said, “You’re sick Bob. You’re sick.”

Bob was then asked to leave the party.

 

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