BREAKING: Man Close to Approaching Girl At Bar

man at barCOLUMBUS, OH — Local 25-year-old Mark Bowman is reportedly close to approaching a girl he’s been eyeing at a bar for the last twenty minutes.

“I’m really trying to work myself up,” said Bowman. “She’s just really pretty, and all of her friends are around.”

Bowman’s friends have also been encouraging him to go and talk to the girl with kind, and encouraging words.

“We keep telling him that he’s a great guy, and that he’s so funny, and she’ll love getting to know him,” said friend Andrew Ryan. “Mark’s just not a super confident guy, he’s always talking about how much taller everyone is than him.”

After his fourth whiskey and coke, Mark began moving toward the girl, but then took a dramatic left turn toward the bathroom. When he returned, his friends told him that if he wasn’t going to talk to her, then they were going to leave. Mark replied, saying, “Just give me five more minutes.”

After waiting the full five minutes and sweating through his button down shirt, Mark finally began to approach the girl.

Immediately, Mark’s friends began placing bets on whether or not Mark would make an uncomfortable comment.



Mark introduced himself to the girl and proceeded to make her laugh twice. He then was approached by a male, roughly 6’5 and 220 lbs, claiming to be the girl’s boyfriend. Mark shook his hand awkwardly, and immediately left to order a single shot of Fireball for himself. Mark is not expected to approach another girl until winter of 2015.

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