NEW YORK, NY — NBC announced today that it has scheduled four new shows that will air mid-fall, following their expectations that most of their new fall shows will fail.

“We took a shot, and if history has taught us anything, it’s that we’re probably going to miss on the majority of our new premiers,” said CEO Steve Burke.

With new shows like State of Affairs, Marry Me, and Bad Judge, NBC looks to add a whole new lineup of shows that will inevitably be canceled mid-season.

“People are not stupid,” said Burke. “They know that we were the ones who put shows like 1600 Penn, and Guys With Kids on the air. I don’t know if anyone saw those shows, but they provided simply miserable television.”

Among the shows scheduled to replace NBC’s new fall line up are hospital comedy, “Where’s My Colon?” and police drama, “Fort Wayne Five-O.”

“We also tested a reality show called Watercolor America, that penned top Watercolor artists against each other, as well as a sitcom revolving around a Mexican golfer called, Hole in Juan. ” said Burke. “Of the comments we received, people said that ‘these shows are unwatchable,’ ‘If there was a window in the room where I watched those shows, I would have jumped out of it,’ and ‘Ice T wouldn’t even agree to do these shows.'”

As we left, Burke could be heard audibly crying, while saying, “Why can’t we bring back Friends?” over and over again.