PORTLAND, OR — A recent study coming out of University of Oregon A&M suggests that Marijuana smoke is quickly becoming the leading cause of global warming. Professor Scott Morgan has been heading up this study and has said that the results have been surprising.
“With the legalization of Marijuana in both Washington and Colorado, we have seen a huge influx in smoke emissions especially in those two states. What we’ve discovered is that state-wide marijuana smoking is the equivalent of driving fifty semi trucks up a 45 degree graded road.”
Professor Morgan has also stated that when marijuana is smoked in a group setting — at a concert for example — that the damage increases exponentially.
“Wiz Khalifa concerts are likely the worst thing for our environment since Chernobyl. You can literally see the death cloud rising into the atmosphere,” said Morgan.
Professor Morgan said that “If someone was given the choice between spraying twelve aerosol cans or smoking a marijuana cigarette, I would say that the aerosol cans, while harmful, would do less damage to the climate.”
Morgan said other major events associated with marijuana that are detrimental to the environment include Girl Scout cookie season, the release of any Pixar movie, and everyday in Boulder, Colorado.
Professor Morgan also said there are secondary effects of smoking marijuana on the environment that are less talked about.
“Methane gas,” said Morgan,” I don’t know if you’ve ever seen someone with the ‘munchies’ but they will eat a lot of almost anything. People think the gas from cows is bad? Try thousands of people eating 5-10 deep fried White Castles, with a side of ice cream.”
Professor Morgan advocates the immediate suspension of all use of marijuana until a solution can be found.