Skydiving Instructor Gives Ambiguous Instruction

Ambiguous Sky DivingSAN DIEGO, CA — Dave Bergman has been an adrenalin junkie all his life. Whether it’s swimming with sharks, or cave diving in remote regions of the planet, Bergman can be found thrill seeking across the globe. The only thing that Bergman had to cross off his bucket list was skydiving, which he attempted to do last week. However, Bergman said his experience did not go as planned.

“I love adrenalin rushes,” said Bergman, “there’s nothing like it on the planet. However, I like to have specific instructions about what I’m doing when I go on these adventures. You know, ‘keep your hands inside the cage at all times,’ ‘if you do catch on fire, stop drop and roll.’ That kind of stuff. So you can imagine my surprise when I went skydiving and was given almost no instruction at all.”

Bergman said that his skydiving instructor was so relaxed that it made him question if he knew what he was doing.

“I asked him how high we were going, and he responded by saying, ‘higher than three feet, my man.’ Then I asked him what our parachute was made out of and he said that it ‘wasn’t made out of pots and pans.’ I mean the guy was a certified lunatic,” said Bergman.

Other patrons taking part in the skydiving said that’s just how Dale Rader (the lead instructor) manages his business.

“Dale’s just a chill guy,” said fellow skydiving instructor, Blaine Denny, “He just vibes.”

“He literally made me show the class how to land,” said Bergman, “I told him I had no idea, and he told me to just give it my best shot. When I demonstrated, he just replied, ‘yeah, that’s like half right, but you’re good,'” said Bergman with a dumbfounded look on his face.

Bergman said out of all the things he’s done in his life, dealing with Dale Rader was by far the most frightening.

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