Internet Troll Claims He Only Meant To Inspire

Internet TrollCOLUMBIA, SC — “Troll,” “Idiot,” “Scumbag,” — these are just some of the names that internet commenter, John Knight, has been called by fellow internet posters. Knight has been active on the internet since 2004 and has received harsh criticism for some of his recent negative comments. Knight, however, argues that he is only trying to inspire and push people to their full potential.

“I don’t get it,” said John Knight, “You try and be helpful on the internet, and suddenly you get a bunch of backlash.”

Knight’s comments span from, “This might have been original in 1994, go kill yourself,” to “I’ve been more entertained watching my grandma try and eat food, why don’t you go die.” He says that his comments are meant to be a coaching mechanism. And while most of the internet has come to despise commenting “trolls,” Knight argues that they are the lifeblood of the world wide web.

“If every comment was, ‘Oh, this is the best thing since birthdays,’ where would we be? The internet would have plateaued back in 2006. It’s only thanks to my overly harsh critiques of every nuance of the internet that the world is progressing.”

Knights most recent comment was on a video of a four-year-old and her kitten bathing in the same tub. Knight’s comment read, “Someone should murder that cat in front of that kid for making this stupid waste of time.” When asked what he was trying to achieve, Knight said, “One day that kid’s going to grow up and start making hit after hit, and you know who she’ll thank? Old Johnny Knight for pushing her to her limit.”

Knight says he slowly but surely refined his internet commenting process.

“First you pick out their biggest insecurity. If they’re overweight, call them fat. If they’re a woman, call them fat. If you’re commenting on something artistic, call it unoriginal, and then call them fat. And if you can’t find a weakness, tell them to either ‘go die,’ or to ‘kill themselves.’ After that it’s really just a waiting game.”


3 thoughts on “Internet Troll Claims He Only Meant To Inspire

  1. Your method of helping and inspire people is unoriginal and super gay and you you should die suddenly due to massive artery blockage you fat pig.


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