DENVER, CO — Brenda Green of Denver, Colorado is the CEO of a major tech company. She married her high school boyfriend, Don Green, in 1997 and hasn’t looked back since. Recently however, Don has noticed some dramatic changes in his wife’s demeanor.
“She started watching Rachel Maddow and has become downright mean,” said Don. “Yesterday we were going to see that new movie, How To Train Your Dragon 2, and I held the door open for her. She went wide eyed, shoved me inside, walked backwards out of the theater and reopened the door, while saying, ‘What? You think because I’m a woman I can’t open a door myself?’ I tried to explain I was just being polite, but by then she had already paid for our tickets and Sour Patch Kids.”
Don also mentioned a time when Brenda, who is 5-foot 2, was having trouble reaching a dish on the top level of a cabinet. When he went over to try and help, Brenda pushed him away, saying, “I don’t need your damn help, Don!”
He recounted, “I watched for ten minutes as she duct-taped a ruler to the top of a broomstick and slowly inched the large serving dish to the edge of the cabinet. As soon as it fell, she lunged to try and grab it, but it ended up hitting her in the head.”
“Her behavior has been worse than when she went on a Downton Abbey binge… Those were a dark few months. She adopted a British accent and kept calling me a ‘harlot.’ Our son was pretty confused.”
Don says he wishes there was a way where he could tell Brenda how much he appreciates all that she’s done for their family. He said, “She pays for our food and our home, and gives our children the attention they need. I just wish there was a way to tell her without her thinking that I’m patronizing her.”