Hipster Finds Lifestyle Too Expensive, Reverts to Mainstream

hispet reverts to mainstreamASHEVILLE, NC — Derek Loy has been living the hipster lifestyle for the past two years, but after his bank account began to dwindle, he reverted to mainstream customs.

“I tried my best,” said Loy, “I really did. I was juicing regularly, eating local and organic, and was doing my best to only drink craft beer. Unfortunately, my bank account just couldn’t handle hipster living.”

Loy said the added stress on his bank account caused him to revert to a more conventional lifestyle, that he enjoyed in his pre-hipster years.

“All the stuff I was doing was great. Kale salads and IPA’s are delicious, but you know what’s also fantastic: cheap stuff. Bud light, frozen chicken and pizza, Coke. Was I saving a lot of money on clothes? Absolutely. I mean, I was buying stuff from thrift stores that homeless people probably wouldn’t wear. And, because I rarely showered, my water bill had never been lower, but those discounts pale in comparison to the money I save when I go to Kroger and buy a half gallon tub of ice cream, instead of chive and lentil flavored froyo from Whole Foods Market.”

Loy said he also has enjoyed hobbies that he wasn’t able to partake in the past two years including playing golf, and being able to talk about football with friends, as well as cleanly shaving his face.

“Do I miss hanging out at a brewery, drinking with a scarf on and talking about Radiohead tattoos? Actually, no. No I don’t. I’m finally free to go to a Buffalo Wild Wings and watch sports on Sunday, while drinking a giant Budweiser.” said Loy ecstatically. “The ironic thing is if I didn’t make this change, I would have been close to living out of my van, which would have made me a god among hipsters.”

After his profound endorsement of his common lifestyle, Loy proceeded to dip a corndog in chili and said, “This is the best I’ve felt in years.”

Advertisements

386 thoughts on “Hipster Finds Lifestyle Too Expensive, Reverts to Mainstream

  1. Pingback: Is Being a Hipster Too Expensive? | Slice

  2. Don’t listen to mr. Santana you can keep him amused by giving him a piece of paper with the word “turn paper over” written on both sides of it, but reading this “enormous amount” of text strains his mind, which he perceives as boredom. The man can’t even spell the word “too” ferchrisake… He probably also talks to himself while walking, “remember, my house is right down this street, just like it’s been for the last years”, hence the “go talk a walk”…

    Like

  3. So instead of following hipster mainstream, he reverted back into a jock. Maybe in his next phase he can learn to be himself instead of following the herd.

    Like

  4. I get that its a joke, but if you’re going to write a piece about someone in Asheville, you should know the area better. To make the story more believable. We dont have Kroger grocery stores in Asheviile we have Ingles and we dont have a whole foods either, we have Earthfare. Just a heads up. Other than that funny story bro. An Ashevillian

    Like

    • I hear ya Ashvillian. We did not expect to get the kind of exposure that we did. Next time we’ll be sure to include Ingles and Earthfare, The Biltmore and Bele Chere. Thanks for the read!

      Like

    • There actually is a Whole Foods – Green Life was bought out a few years back and they are building a another one on Tunnel Road. Not that any of this matters to the spirit of the original article:)

      Like

    • If even a cursory study of Asheville had been done, there would have also been a connection made between the inability to find a job and his dwindling bank account. Or, maybe his job as a bicycle courier or cashier at the co-op made it impossible to afford the variety of craft beer or eat anywhere but the food truck. Vegetarian restaurants and micro-breweries nor are endless indie entertainment and festivals the problem. The outrageous cost of living and near impossibility of finding a job that pays more than $8/hour make it very difficult to live in a hipster city like Asheville. Shaving, suiting up or switching to domestic beer won’t help. *From someone who lived in and loved Asheville for more than 20 years, and left a year ago, broke, exhausted in my efforts to find work, and willing to wear just about anything, eat/drink anything and live anywhere in this country that pays a living wage…Still looking in St. Pete!

      Like

  5. What a hoot! Well done!

    Mr. Santana is more to be pitied than censured. He appears to be humour challenged or perhaps unable to recognize satire. That is very sad.

    Like

    • So reverting from so-called hipsterism to lowest-common-denominator everything is understated cleverness and effective satire? Really, it’s just too bad they apparently couldn’t part with a sixer for some proofreading help.

      Like

  6. Pingback: The Herbmergency | J is for Jenerous

    • Actually, in Vancouver, they drink craft beer….and sh-tloads of it. I live on Commercial Drive (hipster heaven) and we have craft beer bars every block or two…all loaded with hipsters. The latest one that opened has 40 taps. I still see the ocassional hipster with a case of PBL in hand, but most are into the craft beers here something fierce. Many even make their own and have some pretty sweet kegging setups.

      Like

  7. i didn’t even know what hipster meant until I read this. I am still not exactly sure. I cant tell if a hipster is a person who eats well, is health conscious and environmentally aware. or a typical human who doesn’t know who or what they are and goes out and spends all their money trying to figure it out. why you would want to label yourself is beyond me. what strikes me about this article is just how confused people can be. if you make healthy, positive changes in your life you will have more wealth not less. please don’t go around writing articles that allude to healthy living being unattainable. you sir did not make healthy, positive changes or you would not be broke. instead you tried to purchase a lifestyle called “hipster”. how do you expect to retain any money when you go out drinking and by your meals at whole foods. learn to cook and if you already know how, then do it. you don’t have to purchase only organic foods to stay healthy. it does not have to be all or nothing that is set up for failure. if we as a people came together and demanded healthy food the price would lower greatly. but thanks to people like you who cop out and write “funny” little articles while choking down a corn dog chasing it with a coke that hasn’t happened yet. the bill will come later for you unhealthy habits and it will be more even than your recent bout with hipsterism. I really don’t know what a hipster truly is but if they are all behaving like you and talking about being healthy, eating well and have a positive impact then they are just kidding themselves like you were.

    Like

    • Hipster is the modern term for Hippie. Baby Boomers had hippies, Millenials have Hipsters. The main difference is that Hippies often wore leather jackets with fringes, while Hipsters conspicuously wear/display Apple products. Otherwise, they are still into granola, yogurt (natural of course), tofu, New Age, etc.

      Like

      • Not so sure about that. I don’t think your average hipster could last a day on a farm, camping, living in a commune, or “roughing it” in any way. And I don’t think hippies would see any value in all the ubiquitous ink.

        I agree they’re somewhat related, but no more than “steam punks” are related to Victorian era folk.

        Like

    • the urban dictionary actually provides a coherent definition this time:

      “”Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20’s and 30’s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. The greatest concentrations of hipsters can be found living in the Williamsburg, Wicker Park, and Mission District neighborhoods of major cosmopolitan centers such as New York, Chicago, and San Francisco respectively. Although “hipsterism” is really a state of mind,it is also often intertwined with distinct fashion sensibilities. Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses. Both hipster men and women sport similar androgynous hair styles that include combinations of messy shag cuts and asymmetric side-swept bangs. Such styles are often associated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons, and are usually too “edgy” for the culturally-sheltered mainstream consumer. The “effortless cool” urban bohemian look of a hipster is exemplified in Urban Outfitters and American Apparel ads which cater towards the hipster demographic. Despite misconceptions based on their aesthetic tastes, hipsters tend to be well educated and often have liberal arts degrees, or degrees in maths and sciences, which also require certain creative analytical thinking abilities. Consequently many hipsters tend to have jobs in the music, art, and fashion industries. It is a myth that most hipsters are unemployed and live off of their parent’s trust funds.
      Hipsters shun mainstream societal conventions that apply to dating preferences and traditional “rules” of physical attraction. It is part of the hipster central dogma not to be influenced by mainsream advertising and media, which tends to only promote ethnocentric ideals of beauty. The concepts of androgyny and feminism have influenced hipster culture, where hipster men are often as thin as the women they date. The muscular and athletic all-American male ideal is not seen as attractive by confident and culturally-empowered hipster women who instead view them as symbols of male oppression, sexism, and misogyny. Likewise, culturally-vapid sorority-type girls with fake blond hair, overly tanned skin, and “Britney Spears tube-tops” are not seen as attractive by cultured hipster males who instead see them as symbols of female insecurity, low self-esteem, and lack of cultural intelligence and independent thinking. Hipsters are also very racially open-minded, and the greatest number of interracial couples in any urban environment are typically found within the hipster subculture.
      Although hipsters are technically conformists within their own subculture, in comparison to the much larger mainstream mass, they are pioneers and leaders of the latest cultural trends and ideals. For example, the surge of jeans made to look old and worn (i.e. “distressed”), that have become prevalent at stores such as The Gap, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Hollister, were originally paraded by hipsters who shopped in thrift stores years before such clothing items were mass produced and sold to the mainstream consumer. The true irony here is that many of the detractors of hipster culture are in fact unknowingly following a path that hipsters have carved out years before them. This phenomena also applies to music as well, as many bands have become successful and known to mainstream audiences only because hipsters first found and listened to them as early-adopters of new culture. Once certain concepts of fashion and music have reached mainstream audiences, hipsters move on to something new and improved.
      Because of the rise of various online photo-blog and social networking sites, insights into urban hipster culture is reaching sheltered suburban audiences at an exponential rate. Cultural “norms” have been deconstructed by hipster culture as a whole. Hipsterism is often dismissed as just an image thing by some, but the culture as a whole is effecting changes in society, leading to feelings of insecurity and resentment in people who are no longer a part of the cultural ruling class. For example, a lot of anti-hipster sentiment evidently comes from culturally-clueless suburban frat boy types who feel that the more sensitive, intelligent, and culturally aware hipster ideal threatens their insecure sense of masculinity. Anti-hipster sentiment often comes from people who simply can’t keep up with social change and are envious of those who can.”

      Like

  8. Frick Hipsters. Co opted the outstanding work of actual hippies and made it just another uniform. Yes. I do hate you. Sincerely. On the other hand frick Budweisers and corn dogs or whatever the hell else he is reverting back to. Keep your juicer though buddy, one thing the hipsters may have glommed onto that makes sense for EVERYBODY.

    Like

  9. ANy “hipster” that patronizes WHOLE (paycheck) FOOD Stores, sooner rather than later will meet up with the REAL WORLD……………….with just a LITTLE bit more “SWEAT EQUITY” you could have been a succes at healthy eating within the “hipster” life style………YOUR LOSS.

    Like

    • Hipsters don’t eat at Whole Foods up in Vancouver…they eat at funky restaurants and if they’re buying actual food it’s from one of the thousands of fruit and veg stores in this city. The whole point of being a hipster is not conforming, and Whole Foods is the epitome of conforming, lol. At the neighbourhood vegmart, you get fresh local food cheap. And most vegmarts here have a couple of weird brands or super-regional culturally rare products that the hipster can take home to regale his guests….along the same lines as his music: “you’ve probably never heard these guys but they’re great.” 😉

      Like

  10. I hate hipsters and all they stand for. #thatisall
    What I don’t hate are all the replies. It gave me life….and it was funny as fuck.

    Like

  11. Pingback: My abs hurt | Nelson Abraao

  12. Wait….I thought ‘hipster’ WAS mainstream??? Every time I see a hottie with a massive beard, lots of ink, dressed in skinny jeans, red plaid, smelling like a dumpster, while drinking PBL I always yell out at them “way to conform!” ….no wonder they get all pissed off at me, lol.

    Like

  13. The title was the funniest part of the piece. The Whole Foods froyo comment was second. The rest of the content was tired and old. Major beer makers have been in massive decline for last 5 years, so it’s not just the minuscule hipster population who have given up on Budweiser. That ignores that Whole foods are for rich yuppies, hipsters shop at outdoor/farmers markets. I guess is what I’m saying is, this article really could have been better.

    Like

  14. I call “bullshit” because it doesn’t cost more to live “hipster” or any lifestyle, really. And not bathing? Can’t shave? Chive and lentil flavored froyo? Most hipster’s shop at local farmer’s markets and get all kinds of local inexpensive organic produce, meats, lots of SOAPS and even froyos VERY cheap. Like I said….this isn’t even amusing to me, a “non-hipster,” because it was only TRYING to cause a stir and offend. Well, it did what the author wanted it to, now didn’t it?

    Like

  15. Is it possible that because he labeled this article with Asheville, NC that he caused such a stir? I think so….this area is known for it’s acceptance of many kinds of lifestyles that maybe it is easy to pick on. Full of locals and original farmers from the pioneer times that know how to pinch a penny and staunch moral values….so of course this article is going to cause a stir. Well done, Jon Costin, who knows nothing about this area! You surely got what you wanted, lol! Gotta give you credit for that.

    Like

  16. so the hipster lifestyle reflects the real cost of living by buying locally and organically. When you pay the real prices for things it hurts your wallet (without the benefit of imported commodities made by exploiting other countries resources and economies). the lesson is the mainstream is deluding itself not the hipsters.

    Like

  17. Pingback: CoreyBagget.com | Hipster Finds Lifestyle Too Expensive, Reverts Back to Mainstream

  18. Sounds like this guys new non-hipster lifestyle is incredibly unhealthy. You don’t have to be a hipster to eat healthy, right?

    Anyway, the term ‘hipster’ is so widespread that its really up for debate exactly what a ‘hipster’ is- there are so many different types. Seems like the most expensive part of YOUR hipster lifestyle was the craft beer and expensive foods. Well, not all ‘hipsters’ are foodies. I know plenty of ‘hipsters’ that barely spend any money on food and drink nothing but the cheapest beer- Pabst Blue Ribbon anyone? Most ‘hipsters’ I know love football and baseball. Most love a good old fashioned BBQ.

    I’m from NYC-FYI. Maybe other places have a smaller variety of ‘hipster’.

    Cute article, could have been funnier.

    Like

  19. He failed to mentioned that what REALLY affected his bank account was his inability to afford the craft beer or razors on his wages working as a bike courier or cashier at the co-op, or to find a job at all! Asheville is a great city with lots to offer many lifestyles. However, as in many “Hipster” cities, the cost of living is exorbitant and jobs paying a living wage are almost nonexistent.

    Like

  20. To me, hipsters don’t actually exist, much like faggots don’t actually exist unless you are a close-minded person. “Hipster” is really just a mean word used to describe a certain type of person, or at least that’s what it has become. But this was a pretty entertaining post nonetheless.

    And Whole Foods is way too corporate to be appealing to these types of people. 😉

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s