Bachelorette Recap: Week 4, France

bachelorette mime

Source: ABC

After taking a week long hiatus, Andi Dorfman is back with a vengeance. Marseille, France was the destination for the Dorfman and her band of merry gentlemen. At the beginning of the episode, Andi claimed that Marseilles is “the perfect place to fall in love,” which puts it on par with San Lucia, Santa Barbara, Connecticut, and Vietnam. I would love to hear what she would say if they took her to Yemen.

Chris Harrison

Chris Harrison’s lovely turtleneck Source: ABC

Andi’s first one-on-one date was with MLB second rounder, Josh M. But first let’s get to Chris Harrison’s newest getup: his wool turtleneck. I don’t know who does his wardrobe but somebody give that monkey a promotion! Chris asked Andi if she was falling in love, to which Andi replied, “Stop!” and thus began the drinking game that resulted in a nice Tuesday hangover for college students everywhere.

Josh M is all about not being stereotyped as a “jock,” or a “sports guy,” and wants Andi to think of him in a different light, which is fine, but Josh kept making references to his sports career, so he may as well have said something like, “I don’t want you to think of me as this guy who played in the MLB, who has a great smile, and a body with 5% body fat. I’m so much more than my sports money, and my confident 1st basemen attitude.” Also well done Josh, in keeping Andi from seeing the Chateau D’if, by sticking your tongue in her mouth, no one likes that monument anyways.

Meanwhile back at the hotel: JJ solidified himself a shit-talker, as he told Marquel that Andrew called him a “blacky,” just to turn around in the confessional and say that Andrew, “may have said ‘black guys.'” All right you little home schooled, pants punk, let’s think about this logically: 1. Blackie is a term that might — and I use “might” loosely — be used by people over the age of 75, or by T.Y. Beanie Babies when naming their Black Bear. 2: If you want to talk shit about Andrew getting a waitress’ number because you think it affects the show, then fine. But to basically call someone a racist on national television, based on something you may or may not have heard is pretty outrageous. Also I think it says something about JJ who apparently thinks “blackie” is a term that is still thrown around.

Andi Dorfman De Niro

Andi shows off her De Niro face Source: ABC

Back on the date, Josh told Andi a story about a girl he was seeing who cheated on him. This resulted in Andi donning what I have affectionately come to call “De Niro Face.”   Andi’s De Niro face can happen when she is pleased and smiling, or if she is listening intently, and interested in what a certain someone has to say. In this instance Andi De Niro’d when Josh opened up to her, proving to her that he wasn’t the same person Juan Pablo was and making her as happy as James Conway.

The next date was a group date on which Andi took her boys to Mime school. I find it incredibly hard to believe that they couldn’t come up with a better date than dressing a bunch of guys up in mime clothes and miming around a public square. Points go to smug JJ who took Andi on a Ferris Wheel, where no one could hear her scream. Dylan also showed his inner Iago, when he told Marquel it was a good idea to confront Andrew on the group date. The big thing on this date was when Nick angered big-baby Cody by saying he was the front runner. Cody was none to pleased with Nick’s cocky nature, and showed him that his California broness could quickly turn into a California “that really hurt my feelings!” Poor, poor Chris too. Andi totally manipulated his nice-guy attitude to get gossip out of him by using the, “would you tell me if I was your wife?” line.

Andi’s next date was with Brian. They’re date was essentially a promotion for the movie, “100-foot Journey,” which as far as I can tell is a movie about French people and Indians who don’t use the metric system. Brian and Andi attempted to cook food, which Brian took entirely too seriously, and if he were a girl on The Bachelor, he definitely would have been sent home. But because this isn’t The Bachelor, Brian got a rose and will be around for at least one more week.

Andi Dorfman

Source: ABC

No cocktail party this week. Andi took her Adam’s Family meets Star Wars hair, and decided she knew the cuts she wanted to make without having to see a bunch of grown men get drunk and cry. Apparently black isn’t her favorite color, as Andi cut Marquel, along with lovers, Andrew and Patrick. Patrick’s exit was particularly appealing as he said the he’s been told by “many people, not just girls, that he is a catch,” Maybe he should start pursuing those, “not just girls,” and share a limo with Andrew…meow!

Next week Andi will actually be going full-on De Niro when she administers lie detector tests to her suitors, which I’m sure won’t end in tears.

 

 

 

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